Questions You Can’t Answer
It’s been a while since I took a written driving test — “I can drive,” I reminded them, “how do you think I got here?”
In any case, they continued on and on about “rules” and “laws” and “our policy.” I even pressed the panic button on my remote to prove I drove there. They were relentless — I succumbed (BTW, how do you shut off the panic alarm? Also, how do you charge a car battery?).
I took their test. And you’re probably not supposed to do this, but I also took pictures of questions I considered difficult — see how well you do:
- The sign pictured above indicates, A) It is Right to KEEP bikes Left unattended, B) Pedestrians stay right, autonomous bikes stay left, C) If your bike very small, consider sneaking up on it.
- Use turn signals to indicate your intention, A) Before you turn, B) After you turn, C) Just leave them on all the time.
- You are most likely to encounter a slippery spot on the road, A) All the above, B) “A” and “C”, C) “A” and “C” and sometimes “Y.”
- In the northern hemisphere, roundabouts always circulate, A) Clockwise, B) Counter-clockwise, C) What’s a hemisphere?
- If you are half-way between your house and the grocery store, you are, A) On your way to the store, B) On your way home, C) At a garage sale.
- If someone does not like the way you drive, they should, A) Stay off the sidewalk, B) Stay off the road, C) Insist you take a drivers test (wait, huh?).
- All drivers are above average, A) True, B) False
- When is it OK to drive the wrong way on a 1-way street, A) What do you mean by a “1-way” street? B) What do you mean by “wrong way?” C) What’s this I hear about a garage sale?
- In which direction should you turn your steering wheel if you miss your turn, A) Left, B) Right, C) Seriously, is there a garage sale or not?
- If you have a tire blowout in a roundabout at night halfway to the grocery store, you should, A) Get out of your vehicle and slowly back away, B) Find a culvert to crawl into because a tornado is next, C) This has got to be a dream so do whatever you want.
So, how did you do? I missed every single one of these questions so don’t feel bad if you did even worse. Study these questions, hop on your scooter (or golf cart), and take the test.
Chet Skwarcan (traffic engineer, author, unique insights) with over 25 years of traffic engineering experience — online ideas available at TrafficEngineering.com/Services or Chet@TrafficEngineering.com.